(bright upbeat music) - Will you consider this?

You go to the post office to mail something out and you meet somebody who's got a story, and I've got one of those somebodies with me right now.

Caitie Crowley, welcome to "Consider This".

And you're a native Peorian.

You grew up here.

- I did, yes.

Thank you so much for having me.

It was crazy how, yeah, I was just going about my day, and I was like, "I don't," you know, we got...

Sorry, we started talking, and yeah, got to meet, which was absolutely great, and yeah, been born and raised here my whole life pretty much.

- Okay.

And where did you go to school?

- [Caitie] I went to Dunlap High School.

- All right.

But grade school, you were at St. Vincent's.

- I was, yes.

- So you grew up Catholic.

- I did.

- And then you went to Dunlap High School.

And I mean, you did a lot of things back in the day.

You're not that old now.

- That's true.

(chuckles) - So tell me a little bit about everything that you were involved in when you were a lot younger.

- Yeah, so, dance was a huge part of my life, so that took up a lot of my time doing that at school, and then also with private dance studios as well.

And so loved to be active, loved to be involved, just had a normal upbringing, and was involved in just normal everyday things for kids.

- Were you on the dance team at Dunlap?

- I was, yes, in high school.

So I did four years of that, and also was in the musical, doing dance for that as well at high school, and also a year at Bradley as well when I went to undergrad, for a dance company there as well.

So, dance was a huge part of my life, and just studying and friends and just normal things.

- Okay.

And you also choreographed some things.

- I did.

- With your dance.

You knew exactly how to do it.

- Yes.

(both chuckling) That was always a lot of fun.

I love being creative, so any time I can try to take something and put something together, I absolutely enjoy it, so.

- Well, it brings us to this that kind of put your dancing career and your love of dancing on hold anyway.

In May of 2019, tell me what you were doing.

You had already graduated from Northwestern, and you were in a master's program.

- So I was in process of that.

So I was halfway through my program approximately.

I was working on that remotely.

I was working at CAT Logistics, and just working out a bunch, living an ordinary life.

And unfortunately, I took the highway home that afternoon, and another driver took the wrong ramp and came forcefully back on the highway where I was.

- [Christine] Opposite direction.

- Well, we were supposed to be going the same direction, and this was split seconds, but he came into my lane and I lost control of the vehicle and flipped about three times, and it was just excruciating pain, fear, all happening in seconds.

- That's incredible.

And so you had people come up to you and talk to you while...

Were you upright at that point, or were you upside down?

- So I was kind of upright with, like, my leg dangling out the window, where the window used to be.

- [Christine] And you don't remember how it ended up out the window?

- No, I just, I know my car flipped a few times, and so yeah, and it was split seconds, but I landed kind of upright, kind of not slunched, and yes, actually, Randy, who I didn't know who he was at the time, but he came up to me and prayed with me and stayed with me until the first responders could get to me and get me to the hospital.

- Now, you wrote this first book.

It's called "Stepping Up!".

It's lovely.

"How Christ Turned My Pain & Suffering Into Hope and Joy."

And so while you were flipping, you said you were asking for God's intercession at that point.

- True, I was asking for His forgiveness 'cause I actually thought I was gonna die.

I had so much fear and pain.

You can imagine that I actually thought maybe I would gonna, you know, was gonna die.

And so I was like, "Please forgive me, please forgive my sins.

Like, if I've committed any sins, like, please forgive me."

And so I just kept saying that as I was, like, flipping and rolling around, again, in a matter of seconds.

I don't know what the timeframe was.

But yes, I was, like, praying very intently during that, and I feel like the Holy Spirit prompted me to do that, because when you're just fearful to think to pray, I don't know how I did, but I did.

- And then so you were taken to the hospital, they put you on a gurney and they took you to the hospital, and what was the first thing that happened there?

- Yeah, so I was assessed for my injuries and had a lot of pain, and, you know, just, they got me taken care of, just assessing me for what was going on.

And basically, I had contused lungs, and then just a lot of broken bones, so, collarbone, elbow, knee in four places, which was my worst injury, and ankle.

And anyways, they told my parents I'm gonna need surgery on my ankle, my knee, possibly the elbow.

It didn't end up needing it.

But yeah, I was hospitalized for like 11 days, awaiting surgery and getting better, and then released home.

But even I was looking forward to getting home, but I had a long journey ahead just from getting home.

- You really...

I know what it's like when you have to just sleep on your back and you're used to sleeping on your side, and that's very frustrating because you just can't get comfortable.

So, that was one of your main challenges other than the intense pain that you had, for how long?

- I mean, honestly, months.

It was months of excruciating pain, and then I still have pain to this day.

It's just better than it was.

(chuckles) Yeah, getting used to sleeping differently, being in a wheelchair, having crutches, braces, struggling just to get across my own bedroom, to getting to being able to walk further distances, it all caused pain, it was all a struggle, it was all so difficult.

And just feeling like, you know, I had these plans for my life, and I thought I had my, you know, life figured out as a 24-year-old, and then to think, wow, I can't even achieve anything I want to, and now I'm struggling to get across my own bedroom.

What's going on here?

What is the purpose of this?

Why am I experiencing this when other people, friends of mine, are, you know, moving, getting married, doing fun things, and I'm like, I can't hardly, you know, make my own breakfast.

- Right, right.

So frustrating.

- Yeah.

- So very frustrating.

And at such a young age.

But you never lost your faith.

Your faith has carried you through this entire journey.

- It really has, yeah.

Without God, I don't know how you get through suffering, personally, because you need someone outside of yourself.

When you recognize your own weakness and you're like, "I'm struggling, I can't deal with this, this is hard, this is difficult," you need to know that someone is out there interceding on your behalf and helping you, and has a purpose and a plan for you, even through evil, even through suffering.

And I could not have gotten through this and not become bitter or angry or hateful without God.

- But there were times when you were teetering on those emotions, correct?

- For sure.

- Yeah.

But you just, how did you become so devout?

- I would say it was through this suffering, through this cross, right?

And I think you have kind of a couple choices in front of you.

When something terrible happens to you, you could say God doesn't exist, He doesn't love me, because it wouldn't happen to me, or you can lean in and say, you know, He permitted this, there's gotta be good here, there's something I can learn here, there's something that He's teaching me here.

And so it was through the struggle day over day over day of continuing to pray even when I didn't feel like it, of continuing to have hope, even when I didn't really feel that hopeful, and just repetitively praying and relying on Him and staying close to Him, and saying, "Lord, like, is there something in this?

Is there purpose?"

So no, it's not easy.

Not to say I didn't have days where I cried or was upset, 'cause that is very to be expected, but I just persisted nonetheless and praying and trusting that God would do something with it.

- Well, I did read your book, and, oh, both books, but I did see that you said there must be a greater plan for you, and that's why you're still here.

So, sharing your story and your grief at your loss of what your life was, but moving forward the way that you did.

And it took you about 10 months to be able to walk without a crutch or a walker or anything.

- Correct, correct.

- So how did that all come about?

I mean, obviously you started with baby steps.

- Yeah, it was very difficult.

The goal was just to take a few steps, and then a few more and a few more, of weaning from two crutches with, like, a huge brace, to a smaller brace, to the one crutch, to eventually nothing.

And then even when I was nothing, I was wobbly, I wasn't upright, I didn't have normal gait walking ability.

So, getting that balance and that normal structure back took, really, a second year once I was off, like, helpful devices.

And so it was just, it was a lot of physical therapy, it was a lot of tears, it was a lot of my parents saying, "You can do it, try again, you can do it, try again."

It was quite the journey.

And so just getting better and then figuring out, okay, like, I almost died.

How do I even adjust back to normal life, and what does God want me to do with my life, you know?

You know, and thinking about it deeper instead of, you know, just get a job, you know?

It's like, well, what kind of job does He want me to do?

How can I best impact people?

And, you know, maybe should I share my story with other people?

Would it help anybody?

And I was kind of kicking those things around.

- Well, obviously, you made good on that.

Now, you are a member of St. Jude Parish.

- Correct.

- And St. Jude is the patron saint of hopeless cases.

- (chuckles) Yeah.

- And so, I mean, that kind of works out perfectly.

I mean, it's a serendipity kind of thing.

But you had a lot of people in your faith community encourage you to write your story, write down your story, including your parents.

- That's true, yes.

And I couldn't have done it without the nudging, because actually, it was my nana who first was like, "You gotta write your book, you gotta write your book," and I was like, "I don't know how to write a book."

Like, I'm like, "I don't know anything about that."

And she kept telling me to do it.

And then Deacon Roger, who was my eighth grade CCD teacher and served at St. Jude for many, many years, great guy, he messaged me one day and was like, "You have a great story, you gotta share it."

And with both of them kind of persisting at me for several weeks, and then I, like, talked to my parents, I was like, "What do you think?"

And they're like, "Why don't you just try?"

And so anyways, I got a lot of ideas and wrote the core of my book, my first book, in three days.

I just nonstop wrote, it just poured outta me.

- Did you journal at any time during this?

I mean, this was all just in there.

- It was pretty much just in there.

The only thing I kind of wrote down a little bit was just milestones.

Like, I would write down, like, okay, like, made my own breakfast, or, you know, I walked one lap around our dining room table.

I made it outside to the mailbox.

Like, I would write out little milestones.

But apart from any of the stories or anything, no, I just, it was all in my head, and just poured it out.

- Really?

And you couldn't stop?

- No, uh-uh.

Which was crazy.

It was just, I got a lot of joy doing that.

I get a lot of joy out of writing, and so there's something to that if you find joy in something.

- Well, even when you were in school, I believe that you were writing, correct?

You liked taking those kinds of classes and things, and you excelled at it.

So, how was it then, in your book, when you first got into a car, you wanted to be in the backseat.

You were afraid to drive again.

- Correct.

That was quite the journey.

Yes, it just, being in a car of any kind, even just with it turned off, caused a lot of anxiety.

Fear of PTSD, to be honest with you.

And so I had to gradually, you know, I sat in the back seat for a while, and then I moved to the passenger seat, and then I finally attempted to drive just, like, down the road.

And that, again, was just painful baby steps of moving that forward, because that was very, very challenging to me, because you're facing your fear head on.

It's like, this thing almost killed me, and so how can I...

I wanna get back to driving, I wanna be better at it.

- Just for independence.

- Yes, exactly.

I wanna live my life.

I have a few years to go, hopefully, being 29 now.

But yeah, it was quite the challenge to face that fear.

- Yeah.

And then, so how exactly did you do it?

You went to a parking lot.

Your dad took you to the parking lot.

- True, yes.

- Put you behind the wheel.

- Yeah, and I actually had him, like, sit outside, like, on the bench, and I was like, "I don't want you to be in the car.

Like, let me just try to, like, go in circles myself."

And yeah, and it was doing that several times week over week over week.

I mean, it took quite a while.

And then just slowly increasing, and then it's like, okay, now maybe I should try to drive to the parking lot.

And so it was just slow gradual steps of kind of exposing myself to what scared me.

And same with walking, it's, you know, you don't get up after surgery and go for a run.

I actually still can't run.

But you just slowly increase your stamina.

You walk another minute, another minute, another minute.

And I've gotten used to learning how to grow very slowly.

- Do you think you'll ever be able to run again, or do you want to run again?

Because you were a runner and a dancer and just so active.

- I wish I could.

Unfortunately, due to my injuries, it's just really not possible.

I would cause a lot of pain.

I have severe arthritis.

I had the tibial plateau fracture, which is the weight bearing function, and so all your weight's coming again and again on that.

And so it's hard enough just with the walking weight through it that running would absolutely kill it, and I've been advised by multiple doctors not to run, not to do a bunch of stairs, not to do high intensity workouts, and so I've had to adjust my expectations for my life.

- And physical therapy wasn't the best to start out with.

- It was quite the journey and quite the experience.

- Do you think it's because you were so young that they thought you could just get in there and do it?

- I think so.

I think they thought, "You're young, you can kind of conquer anything" mentality, instead of saying, "Yes, I am young, and all my other muscles and ligaments and everything are perfect," but the injury was so severe, and I don't think that they were used to seeing that level of just a horrible injury to the knee in particular.

One surgeon called it potato chips as what was remaining.

The bone was like potato chips.

So, there's not much structure there.

There's not any cushioning there.

And so again, just what I'm capable of doing is just limited compared to other people my age.

- Well, and you've had a couple of surgeries.

You just had a recent surgery in August.

- I did, yes.

And so unfortunately, a couple screws, few screws had moved, and one broke, and so had to get those taken out just 'cause they were causing a lot of pain.

And so now I'm learning to walk again, slowly, slowly, slowly increasing that stamina again.

But yeah, it's hard to face it again.

It's hard to say, "Here we go again."

I thought I was, you know, kind of behind this, but it's gonna be a chronic issue, unfortunately.

- The outlook for you is pretty good though, leading your new normal life.

- Yes, exactly.

I would say, you know, I'm in for a total knee replacement at some point, but I'm way too young.

I hope that there's a lot more innovation in the ortho space in terms of cartilage and things like that, so I'm very hopeful that there'll be more improvements in medicine before my lifespan is over.

But just kind of watching the knee and not doing anything super crazy.

No, you know, mountain climbing or anything like that in my future.

But as far as any other limits, not really.

You know, I can still do my life, have a job, have a career, have a house, things like that.

So, it's not stopping me from having a full life.

- Well, so speaking of your job and your career, you are an instructor.

- I am, yes.

So I teach at Bradley University, which is where I went to undergrad, which is awesome.

I started with them in January, so I taught undergraduate last semester, and I'm teaching a graduate level class this semester in business leadership, which I love.

- Do you ever share your story with your students, or are you just, you just walk in there and say, "Here I am"?

- (chuckles) A little bit.

Definitely on, like, the first night, I introduced myself, and I do share a little bit about my story, just because I think it's good perspective that time is limited, especially for young people.

People think you're gonna live forever, you're gonna hit old age, and you may or may not.

And so I do like to share just like, "Hey, you know, how are you using your time?"

So I do like to share a little bit, but the point of the class is business and, you know, not my personal life, so I keep it to when I think it's appropriate.

- Do you think that they connect with you because you're younger and they can kind of identify with you?

- I think so, yeah, I think it certainly helps, just because I was recently in their shoes, so I definitely can relate to what's fresh, what's current, what they're gonna face with their, you know, first job, second job, things like that.

And especially with my corporate background, I can share a lot of my stories of the different supervisors I had.

And again, it's all really fresh and really current, and so I think it's very relatable.

- And then so that's a part-time gig, but you're also working another job.

- So I'm also an author, so I've written two books, and in addition to that, I freelance write.

And then I'm also looking at PhD programs at the moment, 'cause I would like to be a full fledged professor is my next goal in life.

But yeah, prior to that, I spent a lot of time at Big Yellow doing different corporate communication jobs, so.

- [Christine] And that's what you had majored in to begin with, correct?

- Yes, marketing at Bradley, and then my master's degree is in information design and strategy, which was a lot of writing and design and analytics.

- So it's kind of a natural.

Well, so then the other book that you wrote is this one.

It is, "I Have a Friend in Heaven."

So, you were mailing this out that day that I met you at the post office.

So, tell us about this one.

It's a great children's book.

- Yeah, so this is to help kids that have to say goodbye to their furry friend.

Especially in our culture today, you know, pets are such a big part of people's lives.

And just to clarify, the Catholic Church does not have a position on whether or not pets are in Heaven, 'cause people do ask me about that.

There is no definitive doctrine on it.

But the point of the book is not to make a claim one way or the other, it's to help kids say goodbye and to say, you know, "I'm not saying goodbye, I just gained a friend in Heaven," is the point of the book.

And so I'm trying to help little ones, you know, that have to say goodbye to their pet, and it was inspired by my own dog, Christmas.

- All right.

How old was your dog, and how long had you had Christmas?

- So she lasted 13 years with my family, and so we got her, actually, like, my freshman year of high school, so I kind of finished growing up with her, and then had to say goodbye to her about a year ago, so.

But a lot of good years with her, a lot of fun memories, and I actually wrote my little poem about her when I had to say goodbye a couple days later, and the poem was the inspiration for the book.

- Did she help you with your healing in that journey?

- She definitely did.

- Because they know how to do it.

- Yeah, absolutely.

She was definitely a bright spot, for sure.

Yeah, she always would just, like, wag her tail and come lay by me, and it definitely was therapeutic and helpful to have her by my side, especially, you know, five years ago, that was such a difficult time in my life and a lot of sorrow, and so she definitely brought joy.

- And those puppy eyes, what they can do for you.

So, you've learned so much from this experience, not just for yourself, but also your perspective.

You're really kind of an old soul.

- [Caitie] I am.

(chuckles) - That, you know, uneven surfaces and things like that, when you were trying to learn how to walk, that they're dangerous for the elderly and for children, and for people with difficulties, with handicaps.

- True.

Yeah, I think that's been the biggest challenge, is, like, I am an old soul, so people my own age, I don't really relate to anymore.

I kind of relate to, like, the 70, 80s crowd (chuckles), the nursing home crowd.

- I'm so glad.

- Yeah.

(laughs) But yeah, it's a challenge, but I definitely think that it's opened my eyes to thinking about people that do have those struggles, right?

To think about, you know, stairs and what parking lots look like, and I hope to advocate for people to make things accessible, so everyone can go and enjoy things, and not just people that are super fit, right?

So I think that's hopefully the takeaway.

- So, maybe that's what you're supposed to be doing, is really being the out front advocate for this kind of thing, especially in central Illinois, but maybe elsewhere, you don't know.

- That's true.

I'm open to wherever God wants to lead me, so, maybe.

- Okay, I like that.

What book will you write next?

Are you contemplating anything at this point?

- Nothing yet, but I definitely think something will come.

I love to write.

I wanna write stuff that I think can help people, that's meaningful, that brings hope, is my point.

Especially in our culture, there's a lot of, like, dark, heavy things available to consume, but I like to have a happy ending, something hopeful for people to read.

So, definitely want to, but nothing in the works yet, but stay tuned.

- You just never know.

- Yeah.

- You never know.

What do you look forward to most in your immediate future?

Being pain-free?

Would that be nice?

- Yeah, that'd probably be number one (chuckles), to be honest with you, of getting rid of the pain, especially, you know, post-surgery, and just getting stronger walking and muscles and things like that.

So yeah, definitely that would be the priority.

- All right.

And then the Lord has been in your life, guiding you, leading you along the way.

When did you feel that most strongly in this whole journey?

- Yeah, that's a great example, great question.

I would say, honestly, looking back, in hindsight, which is probably a strange answer, I knew He was there the whole time, but like I wrote, there was a lot of dry spells, there was a lot of feeling lost and confused and down.

But I think looking back and seeing the good, like, the people He placed in my life at the right time, and seeing this book that He inspired, and just the lives that...

The book has touched many people, I think.

That's brought me a lot of joy, knowing, like, okay, God's using this.

There was somebody that went through a divorce, and they said that the book helped them.

Another person told me they, like, got fired from their job.

The book helped them.

There has been so many... People have shared their stories with me that the fact that the Lord used me through this book to help bring joy to somebody else's suffering, He's in this.

- Definitely, definitely.

So, you have a website.

I mean, you've been interviewed by a lot of different organizations, I guess.

And you have a website, so people can maybe look you up somehow and find out more about you.

- Yeah, absolutely, caitiecrowley.com.

So that's C-A-I-T-I-E-C-R-O-W-L-E-Y.com.

Yeah, so all my stuff is on there, my freelancing, my two books, and all my various interviews, podcasts, TV, different things.

So yeah, definitely check it out.

- All right.

And your parents, and... Well, your nana, she's no longer with us, or is she?

- She is, she's fighting.

- Okay, good.

- She has a lot of health issues, but she is a strong fighter and still here.

- [Christine] So you're an inspiration for her.

- I hope so.

And she is for me, so.

- And your parents were there with you literally every step of the way.

- Literally.

- Yeah.

And you have a younger brother.

- I do, yes.

- All right.

And he was good with you too?

I mean, little brothers.

- Yeah, I mean, a brother, what can you expect?

But for a brother, he did pretty good.

(laughs) But yeah, I'm grateful for a very strong, faith-filled family, and they definitely got me through challenging times.

So, the blessing of a good family is huge.

- Good.

Well, you're a blessing to all of us and an inspiration.

- Thank you.

- So you keep up the good work, we'll keep in touch and make sure that you're still progressing.

- Thank you.

- And I hope you don't need that complete knee replacement until you're really, like, over 65.

That'd be good.

- Yeah.

Thank you so much.

- Thanks, Caitie, for being here.

Thank you for joining us.

Hope you learned a lot about this lovely, inspirational young lady.

In the meantime, be well.

(bright upbeat music) (bright upbeat music continues) (bright upbeat music continues)